Burning at These Mysteries

Burning at These Mysteries

I'm constantly challenged by the difference between what I believe about faith versus what I see displayed by others who proclaim their religion for all to see. I've recently made a life-changing decision that I did not come by easily. I am no longer married and I was the one to initiate the divorce. There it is... I did it. I said it.

I don't walk around wearing a sandwich board about the divorce or any of my reasons. I'm not gathering troops to side with me on the issue. I'm just doing the best I can given the changes that are still in progress. What cuts me to the core are those who judge me for "calling it quits" on my marriage without knowing me or the situation. What's worse are that some of these people are slandering me in a public way. Just today, a pastor I've never met before decided to state something publicly about me throwing my husband under a bus. Seriously?!?! Does he really minister to his congregation with this level of blind, public judgment? Anyone with a pulse knows that a person does not file for divorce on a whim. It's a mystery to me that a Pastor would throw stones like this. I'm glad that scars are tougher than regular skin because I just grew a new patch of scar tissue where that stone struck.

If you're reading this Pastor man, pray for me. Pray for me to listen to God and follow Him according to His will. All I can do is the best I know how to do, prayerfully and as humanly faithful as possible. God hates divorce, I realize that. Even so, God knows my heart and I trust that He will hold me accountable for my sins in this world. God's grace is enough.

I Burn But Am Not Consumed

I Burn But am Not Consumed

So often, important decisions and changes put us in a position of being under fire. Slander, lies, moral platitudes, manipulation and judgment come from places we'd never even presume. We must realize that most stones are cast from those who don't know the full truth of the situation. Hearsay, popularity, gossip and finger pointing seem to prevail with little truth in the mix. How can anyone point fingers without knowing all sides of the situation? Even knowing the basics of all sides, God is the only one who knows the real truth of the matter. Leave the judgment to Him.

If you find yourself under fire, withstand the fire but do not be consumed by it.

De-Cloistering

De-Cloistering

There are many times in life that we all find ourselves building walls around (or compartmentalizing) aspects of our spirit in order to protect ourselves. Sometimes that allows us to go a bit numb in certain areas to avoid further harm to our souls. It's a natural coping mechanism that helps us endure situations beyond our control. What we sometimes fail to realize is how it will effect us when we let those walls back down. It's like when an appendage falls asleep and it starts to recover. You all of a sudden find yourself on pins and needles, not really able to control the muscles, moving into more severe pain and then gradually we regain full function. Healing is essential but it doesn't come without a certain level of discomfort as we regain use of whatever it is we've preserved behind our emotional walls.

When you are ready to "de-cloister", knock down those walls, but be prepared for the pins and needles as the circulation kicks in.

Initial Post

Spiraling Into Control

In my quest to stay up-to date I've begun my own blog journey. My blog title is inspired by a fractal I made in December of 2007. The title represents a condition of life that we all encounter from time to time. It's been my experience that the true grit of my own character is best found in those moments where everything seems to be spinning at once. Choices are made, new journeys begin and growth ensues.


About my art...

I've been working with Fractal Art for over two years now. You're probably wondering what fractals have to do with art since you likely remember them from math class. In essence, much of nature contains visual fractals, that is, similar patterns that are visible at different levels of magnification of the same object. What fractal art does is take the mathematical principles and generates them as images. I enjoy it because it taps in to both my desire to learn new things as well as my artistic imagination.


More to come...

My deviantART page